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12/12/2017 12:21:08 PM

10 Mistakes Most People Makes in Their First Long-Term Relationship

#1 Ditching Friends for Them

Any time your relationship isolates you from your other loved ones, it’s not healthy. Granted, you’ll need your alone time together and you can’t make it to every outing your friends are having but if you’re suddenly missing every important birthday or rare family events, this could be a sign your relationship isn’t good for you.

#2 Comparing Relationships

Theodore Roosevelt said it best, “comparison is the thief of joy.” This is crucially important for your relationship. You and your partner are never going to do things the same way as others. You won’t work the same jobs, have the same background or income as another couple so it’s important to focus on the life you’re creating together and not the life you think you should have just because another couple does.

#3 Trying to Force It

A relationship isn’t always easy because love is complex but at the heart of it, love should not be complicated. Stop trying to make the relationship into exactly what you want to be and focus instead on loving and getting to know the person. The rest will fall into place and if it’s meant to be, it will happen.

#4 Not Discussing the Big Issues Until They’re a Problem

So, you’ve been dating for a year, things are going well but then you find out that your guy doesn’t want to have kids even though you want a big family. Or maybe your girl sees nothing wrong with working late hours and weekends, but you want more time together. These are issues you need to address early in your relationship because if you just let them slide in the beginning, they can grow into huge problems later.

#5 Not Communicating Effectively

Communication is the key to a healthy, happy relationship. When you’re not taking the time to communicate to each other each day, that’s where problems can arise. This can affect your mood, it can build up resentment and it can cause you to miss out on intimacy with your partner.

#6 Not Extending Enough Grace

You can’t expect a person to be perfect all the time. You need to remember that your partner is doing the best they can but they can’t always get it right. Be there to love them and cherish them even in the moments they may do something wrong. By showing them that respect, they’ll do the same to you.

#7 Not Showing Respect

When you enter a relationship with someone, you need to give each other the proper respect. Being selfish and inconsiderate of your partners feelings is only going to result in heartbreak and pain. Respect their decisions and don’t undermine who they are.

#8 Loving the “Idea”, Not the Person

Sometimes it’s easy to fall in love with the idea of the person and not so much who they really are. You might love the fact that she makes a lot of money or the way he looks without a shirt on, but those shallow details can change at any moment. It’s important to love the person for who they really are and not just for the shallow things that make you happy.

#9 Being Possessive

This is something that not every couple will go through but if it does happen, it can be a slippery slope to something harmful. When one side is too possessive, it will make the other feel they’re not respected, loved or considered. In some cases, it can even lead to emotional abuse so it’s important to handle this red flag right away!

#10 Building on Shallow Things

Some people build their relationships on things that might not last. If it’s based on sex, appearance or money, there’s a good chance you’ll have some serious problems arise later. If we’re all being honest, we know a good hook up is not the same as a lasting love. Sometimes you’ll be lucky to find both but chances are the sex isn’t going to get really good until you’re with someone you love and care for deeply, not the other way around.

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