1) Men are not mind readers.
2) Learn to work the toiletseat, youre a big girl. If its up, put it down. You dont hear us complainingwhen you leave it down.
3) Crying is blackmail.
4) Ask for what you want. Letus be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
5) "Yes" and "No" are perfectlyacceptable answers to almost every question.
6) Come to us with problem onlyif you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what yourgirlfriends are for.
7) Anything we said 6 monthsago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and voidafter 7 days.
8) If you think youre fat, youprobably are. Dont ask us.
9) If something we said can be interpretedtwo ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
10) You can either ask us to dosomething or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know besthow to do it, just do it yourself.
11) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to during commercials.
12) Christopher Columbus did notneed directions and neither do we
13) All men see in only 16colours. Peach, for example, is a fruit not acolour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
14) If ask what is wrong and yousay Nothing, we act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it isjust not worth the hassle.
15) If you ask a question youdont want an answer to, expect an answer you dont want to hear...
16) When we have to gosomewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really.
17) Dont ask us what werethinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football ormotor sports.
18) You have enough clothes.
19) You have too many shoes.
20) I am in shape, round is ashape!
21) Thank you for reading this,yes I know, Im sleeping on the couch tonight
but did you know men dontreally mind that? Its like camping
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