8/4/2020 11:00:15 PM
On the first day of a new semester, college students suddenly think they are Martha Stewart on the first day of fall
and on the last day of the year, they suddenly feel like George W. Bush on the last day of his presidency.
Back to school shopping should actually be called expensive things I will soon destroy or lose shopping.
On the last day of school, your desk is the most depressing thing in the world looking at it is like looking at a grown man being yelled at by a barista in front of his son.
When you get the room, it is always in perfect, glorious condition. Its like a beautiful, fresh piece of white paper, full of possibility.
But by the end of the year, that piece of paper is wrinkled, smells like beer, and has a hundred dicks drawn all over it.