Home Blogs
12/14/2017 4:22:32 AM

16 First Date Texts That Wont Lead To A Second

asian town

Here`s a tip for all you about to embark on a first date, or those who are trying to keep the flame of a new love alive: spellcheck, don`t eat before you go on a date just so you can save money, and avoid spandex. 

You`re welcome.

"When you smile, you get the cutest nipples on your cheeks."

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/11b020cb 0c37 413e b192 6dbf81ec666e tablet.jpg


I often do this on the first date. It weeds out the candidates who can and cannot handle the weird.

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/dc2823cd b610 4738 94d9 2c36d80fa8d1 tablet.jpg


Find her most unique physical quality (i.e. red hair), stare her straight in the eyes and say...

"I`m not into the `trade` anymore, but redheads usually have a high bidding price on the open market."

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/c182ba36 2972 4453 91f6 9e681fbe259d tablet.jpg


Delete your hard drive. Delete your F****** HARD DRIVE NOW!

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/a3eaa6fe 8479 454f a5fe 96d9997de9fa tablet.jpg

"Hello, hospital? This is an overly concerned first date looking for the whereabouts of a female I one day hope to wed."


cdn.diply.com/article images/a/d571e9ac ca54 46f4 9c99 6e1271d01e38 tablet.jpg

Promptly send selfie of entire store and all staff and customers blowing him kisses.

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/ac8ed191 d34f 4b92 9d2b fb06ea549638 tablet.jpg


I`ve been arrested for less.

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/5074b4a8 9048 482f 876f 95f6d5f687e7 tablet.jpg


"Why did we meet at Olive Garden if you already ate?"

"...because everyone knows where Olive Garden is. Obviously."

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/c6fe9ac8 50b8 44f2 bdbd e5b6b4fe0e72 tablet.jpg

That`s nothing to be ashamed of.

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/456e3366 db5a 4e48 af94 7da94d80ad73 tablet.jpg


Her or the dog?

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/08fb894d 8fa1 4ed2 91d1 656c7a4a44f4 tablet.jpg


Points for brutal honesty.

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/85b9d493 6e2f 48d2 abfa b66deb8002da tablet.jpg


Barf bag flowers, eh? Duly noted.

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/370bd1cd e6fd 4dc0 9c5d 7ef0267870e1 tablet.jpg


Yeah...I`m gonna need that coffee money back.

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/de0bf8cb 6710 40b0 8875 a1f8616b3a0e tablet.jpg


This would never ever get tiring.

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/e2bb1a9a c817 4f4f 99e2 5418248af5f5 tablet.jpg


Walked right into that terrible joke.

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/9b88fc2b c4e8 482f b47a f00d76f18501 tablet.jpg

Getting blackout drunk IS a thing! Now you know better.

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/cae6b120 4770 455a a8dd a5433cb55b6a tablet.jpg


And of course, that first date text to your friend...

cdn.diply.com/article images/a/e5f71280 6c54 48d9 b3e5 fedd6ba35cdc tablet.jpg
Related blogs:
Loading comments...
Categories