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8/10/2020 9:53:39 PM

What single people expect after marriage VS. What really happens after marriage. And it sucks!

"One ring to bring his balls, and in the darkness, bind them!"

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Every guy, whether he admits it or not, has this theory about every wedding he goes to. It is, in fact, the only reason we DO go.

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Our House, Our Rules!

"Once we live together, we can do all the sexy, romantic things we want!"

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"We can have all your friends over for BBQs, babe!"

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Being Together All The Time Is Going To Be Great!

"Oh, you just wait until we get home, I swear to DOG!"

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Actually...Maybe Time Apart Is A Good Thing!

"What the hell, Gary? You said you`d be home on Sunday!"
"It IS Sunday, Karen!"

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Boy, Oh Boy, I Can`t Wait To Get Home!

"No time for a beer boys, gotta get home to the wife!"

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I Just Want To Be Safe In Your Arms At Night!

"Woman, I swear to God, if you don`t start sharing those damn blankets..."
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We`ll Stay Fit For Each Other!

No. No you won`t.

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"We`ll Have The Greatest Family Ever!"

None of them will ever be arrested for grand larceny. Never!

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"We`ll Solve our Problems Like Adults"

"And you see, Karen, as my PowerPoint has surely proved, we should be having sex at least 13 times a week!"

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I`ll Never Take You For Granted

"95% of the time you`re my favorite person. The other 5%, well..."

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We`ll Represent Each Other Well At Work Functions

"I am classy! I AM! I don`t care what Tina from accounting thinks, Gary!"

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