Every guy, whether he admits it or not, has this theory about every wedding he goes to. It is, in fact, the only reason we DO go.
"Once we live together, we can do all the sexy, romantic things we want!"
"We can have all your friends over for BBQs, babe!"
"Oh, you just wait until we get home, I swear to DOG!"
"What the hell, Gary? You said you`d be home on Sunday!"
"It IS Sunday, Karen!"
"OF LAST WEEK!"
"No time for a beer boys, gotta get home to the wife!"
"Woman, I swear to God, if you don`t start sharing those damn blankets..."
No. No you won`t.
None of them will ever be arrested for grand larceny. Never!
"And you see, Karen, as my PowerPoint has surely proved, we should be having sex at least 13 times a week!"
"95% of the time you`re my favorite person. The other 5%, well..."
"I am classy! I AM! I don`t care what Tina from accounting thinks, Gary!"